Qué pasó güey pinche $1.19 Japonés ramen eaters
In honor of my pinche homies, I will word my review in their pinche tone.
I’m sick of food producers who bow to stupid by marketing their product with “NO MSG” since there’s nothing wrong with MSG.
Goya Sazon (pinche Latin MSG)
I wish I could sit in on a meeting with the Nissin executives who decide to tout “No Added MSG” because the keyword here is that they do not add any extra MSG, but MSG naturally occurs in food and certain ingredients they use.
So any moron saying they don’t want MSG should not be eating Doritos, dry-aged steaks, to Mexican, Peruvian, to Puerto Rican food which sometimes uses a flavor enhancer (sazon) or all have ingredients with naturally occurring glutamic acid, like in tomatoes. So you pinche foo’s, MSG is not solely a Chino thing.
If you want to learn more, check out my full rant here on why MSG is not bad for you because all of Asia eats it, and they’re not fatasses or complaining about it because it’s a pinche American marketing gimmick.
The pinche Nissin pitch:
“READY TO MAKE YOU SWEAT IN 3 MINUTES
If that sounds like your kind of ride, then you’re ready for Hot & Spicy. From the moment you stir in our special chili sauce, prepare yourself for full-contact flavor with an appetizing citrus twist. Now with no added MSG or artificial flavors, Hot & Spicy turns down the sodium while turning up the spice.”– Nissin Foods
The bulk of the pinche ingredients
If you’re wondering what is in that mound of powder, along with the other two packets, it most likely contains:
- The Chili sauce packet?: Palm oil, palm olein oil, sesame oil. Along with salt, beef fat, beta carotene color, caramel color, citric acid, coconut palm sugar, dextrin, dextrose, disodium guanylate, disodium inosinate, to disodium succinate.
- The seasoning and dry veggie packet: Dried cabbage flake, dried cilantro flake, dried green onion, dried red bell pepper, dried shrimp, egg white, garlic garlic powder, hydrolyzed corn protein, hydrolyzed soy protein, lactose, lemongrass, lime juice, maltodextrin, natural flavor, onion powder, potassium chloride, powdered chicken, powdered krill, shallot.
- There’s a bunch of other ingredients: but I’m not going to transpose it all, and I just want to get the gist of what they’re trying to do in terms of flavor.
The spices and flavoring used is an American thing because I highly doubt they would ever sell this in Asia.
It doesn’t look like the typical wavy block of noodles you see in other instant ramen.
I had to see how big this puck of noodles is because the waterline for the broth is barely above the noodles, so you’re getting a far larger bowl than what is needed.
You can see the bits of green onion, cabbage, red bell peppers, and shrimp.
It smelled good when I poured it out.
That’s two of the packets (soup and vegetable packet). The third, the chili sauce is added after you heated up the noodles in the microwave.
The pinche (lack of) taste
Hot and spicy with lime has a Latino vibe, but that quickly falls short because there’s no spiciness to my chili sauce that is supposed to be “hot & spicy.”
The smell from the spice packet was really pungent (cayenne?), but the most noticeable scent comes from the krill/shrimp.
It says “powdered chicken” which makes for a great base stock, but in this product I was hoping for it to taste like that, with lemongrass and lime, like a Thai instant noodle which are really good and cost next to nothing (check out the ramerater for Han’s suggestions on Thai noodles).
That looks like a real shrimp which means I’ve made it in life, and now all I need is that yacht I’ve been wanting (Azimut yachts, I have my eye on you).
If this is what you’re eating for lunch as you sit in your cubicle or company lunch room, you might want to up your daily lunch budget with the suggestions below.
My pinche conclusion
Not going to buy this product again, and I’d rather eat Thai or Korean noodles which are the cartel kingpins of spicy and “lee-moan” (lime and lemon). Although for $1.19, it does fill your belly, but that bowl and the packaging probably make up at least half the pinche cost.
If you’re looking for other instant noodle ideas, try:
- Momosan Tonkotsu/Chicken ramen ($2.08-$3.59)
- Yakisoba ($2.48)
- A list of five other types of instant Japanese noodles ($1.38-$3.79)